The Year of Anything Is Possible
I’ve had a rough forty-five years. Of course, not all of those years were difficult, but a dang good portion were. I slipped into a slump of negativity and have wallowed in that muck for most of my life. Now that Jesse is fourteen, she’s curious about me. Who I was before I met Frankie. The kind of person I was before I became a mom. Her questions are endless, and I do my best to be as open and honest as possible. Her curiosity and constant questions has forced me to take a good, hard look at myself, and what I see is a woman who’d wasted too much time on negativity and regret. Worst of all, I’ve allowed my fear of failure to become a guiding force in my life.
A New Mindset
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. But, as 2018 became 2019, I made three promises to myself. Promises I know I can keep, and that will reshape my remaining years.
Look, the cold truth is, at forty-five, I have more years behind me than I do in front of me. Realistically, this is my final chance to make a monumental life change. I’m not talking about picking up and moving to Guam or anything. It’s about making a massive change within myself that will have a positive effect on every aspect of mine, and my family’s, life.
Negativity and fear of failure defined me, and forced me into a self-defeating mentality. Yeah, no. That’s ends now. Today. Right this minute. Frankie and Jamie (my writing partner’s wife), tell me anything is possible, but I never truly believed that. But you know what…? Anything is possible. At least that’s what I want to believe. But, I can’t sit back and wait for possibility to happen. I have to actively put myself on the front line and take risks. Trust me, that’s easier said than done for me, but nothing ventured is nothing gained. So, this is me venturing the hell out of life.
Goals, Not Resolutions
Goal 1: Get healthy.
Goal 2: Take risks
Goal 3: Dream big, aim high, and believe.
Goal 1 is easy. Frankie and I have spurts where we eat right, move more, shed weight, and feel great. 2019 is the year where we just don’t stop. Instead, we are going to push past the usual traps that result in months of stagnation and crappy eating. We’re getting too old to neglect our health and prepare our bodies for the decent into old age. We don’t want to spend out twilight years as shriveled up, half crippled, old people. We want to live the hell out of life right up until the our last breaths. But, we can’t do that if our bodies break down before our minds do. So, it’s time we kept at this whole healthy thing, because thus far, the alternative hasn’t worked too well for us.
As for Goal 2, I’ve already taken one giant risk. As an author of paranormal romance, I’ve spent a lifetime writing about the creatures who go bump in the night. With the market for paranormal romance suffering a slump, I’ve set aside Azazel to focus on Wraith. I love both books, so I’m not being a “sell-out” and writing for market. I’m having a blast exploring Wraith and Jami’s world, and can’t wait to see which character ‘speaks’ to me after I’ve finished with book one of the series. But, back to Goal 2 and taking risks… I sent out an email last night that was about a billion miles away from my comfort zone. I aimed extremely high. Impossibly high. But, I want to believe that even if the risk doesn’t play out like I hope, it will - at the very least - be a springboard to exploring new creative possibilities.
Goal 3 will be a bit of a challenge for me. Negative person, remember? But, I will spend 2019 dreaming big, aiming high, and doing my very best to believe that anything is possible.
Happy New Year, and I hope 2019 brings you much joy, health, and happiness!
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